LESSONS YOU CAN LEARN FROM MUSICALS
Les Miserables: Stealing a loaf of bread may seem like a good idea, but it will literally fuck up your entire life.
Spring Awakening: If you get laid, you die. If you don't get laid, you die. Also don't trust your parents.
Chicago: It's ok to murder people as long as you wear lingerie and can sing and dance.
The King and I: Racism doesn't count if you sing about it.
My Fair Lady: People will like you if you talk like you have a broom stick up your ass.
Hairspray: In the 60s, people will hate you if you're overweight, UNLESS you also hang out with black people.
RENT: AIDS really blows.
A Chorus Line: If you ever audition for a musical chorus, you better have a goddamn good story as to why you became a dancer.
Grease: If your boyfriend doesn't like you, change absolutely everything about yourself to please him.
The Phantom of the Opera: When choosing between a controlling boyfriend and a sociopath composer with a messed up face who dwells in an opera house's basement, take your sweet damn time.
Rocky Horror Picture Show: Finding refuge from a storm in a mansion who's owner is a transvestite will make you inexplicably horny, and seemingly bisexual.
Love Never Dies: Let the crazy woman run off with your son. You may never see him again but you'll get to be with your deformed lover and at least you won't die.
Wicked: If your born green and people make fun of you for it, fake your own death and run away with a scarecrow.
teawithaview: Have you ever started to check your tumblr in the middle of getting dressed and half an hour later you’re still standing in your underwear with one sock on and also 15 minutes late.
To be free, one must give up a part of one's self.
I would really appreciate it if scientists got on that cloning thing right quick. I have just recently realized that it actually is impossible to do everything. I do not, I repeat, DO NOT at all enjoy turning down work. Especially when it’s unavoidably at the last minute, putting everyone in a bind. Especially when the director is a friend/follower/cast mate of mine. And ESPECIALLY when...
Last Five Years. Fuck to the yes.
It's been over a week.
GODDAMMIT JP JUST GIVE ME A MOTHERFUCKING ANSWER OK OK JESUS
Tova and David.
I don’t think it’s sunken in quite yet. That you are no longer going to be parents, for the time being. I keep remembering this piece of news, then crumpling on the inside over and over again. I keep picturing your nursery you so painstakingly put together with so much love. And all those little jumpers. And it just breaks my heart. This kind of thing is supposed to happen to other people,...
And so it goes.
JP texting me back and forth about The Last Five Years. He’s sending me a confirmation email tonight. Cross your fingers, folks.
Britian right now:
Brits: Ah a nice relaxing bank holiday Mon-HOLY SHIT IS THAT THE SUN?
Brits: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THAT'S THE SUN!
Brits: OK EVERYONE. STAY. CALM. It could be a false alarm. It could still be cold.
New channels: Breaking news - this is the hottest day of the year so far.
Brits: OH SWEET JESUS HAVE MERCY! IT'S SUNNY AND HOT AND IT'S A BANK HOLIDAY. HOW WILL WE COPE???
Ice Cream van: drives past
Why can’t I just be a nice person? Why do I have to let jealousy and hostility take over?